Art Criticism

Nobby Nobbs and Fred Colon are investigating the theft of a painting:

"Hey, this must be a clue, sarge!' said Nobby, who had returned to his default activity of mooching about and poking at things to see if they were valuable. "Look, someone dumped a load of stinking ol rubbish here!'
He'd wandered across to a plinth which did, indeed, appear to be piled high with rags.
"Don't touch that, please!" said Sir Reynold, rushing over. "That's Don't Talk to Me About Mondays! It's Daniellarina Pouter's most controversial hwork! You didn't move anything, did you?" he added nervously. "It's literalleah priceless and she's got a sharp tongue on her!"
"It's only a lot of old rubbish," Nobby protested, backing away.
"Art is greater than the sum of its mere mechanical components, corporal," said the curator. "Surely you hwould not say that Caravati's Three Large Pink hWomen and One Piece of Gauze is just, ahem, "a lot of old pigment"?
"What about this one, then?" said Nobby, pointing to the adjacent plinth. "It's just a big stake with a nail in it! Is this art, too?"
"Freedom? If it hwas ever on the market, it hwould probableah fetch thirty thousand dollars," said Sir Reynold.
"For a bit of wood with a nail in it?" said Fred Colon. "Who did it?"
"After he viewed Don't Talk to Me About Mondays! Lord Vetinari graciousleah had Ms Pouter nailed to the stake by her ear," said Sir Reynold. "However, she did manage to pull free during the afternoon."
"I bet she was mad!" said Nobby.
"Not after she hwon several awards for it. I believe she's planning to nail herself to several other things. It could be a very exciting exhibition."
"Tell you what, then, sir," said Nobby helpfully. "Why don't you leave the ol big frame where it is and give it a new name, like Art Theft?
"No," said Sir Reynold coldly. "That would be foolish."