Thursday, August 11

Another Kind of "intelligent design"

I was thinking of converting to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and insisting it be taught in schools along with "intelligent design", when I was struck by the resemblance between the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Cthulhu, so I was ready to join the Cult of Cthulhu, and howl "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" And what does Cthulhu look like?
The Thing cannot be described -- there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order. A mountain walked or stumbled. God!...The Thing of the idols, the green, sticky spawn of the stars....
or more specifically,
a monster, of a form which only a diseased fancy could conceive. ...[A]n octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature.... A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings...the general outline of the whole...shockingly frightful.


But anyway Cthulhu wasn't a creator god! That is Azathoth, of whom it has been said,
...that last amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the centre of all infinity--the boundless daemon-sultan Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time amidst the muffled, maddening beating of vile drums and the thin, monotonous whine of accursed flutes; to which detestable pounding and piping dance slowly, awkwardly, and absurdly the gigantic ultimate gods, the blind, voiceless, tenebrous, mindless Other Gods whose soul and messenger is the crawling chaos Nyarlathotep.
--The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath

I dunno. Once the classroom door is open to religion, don't we have to let these guys in?

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