Erguotou, Chinese Drink, Heads Stateside. Even if it's "a superior blend", I don't think it'll become that popular. But what do I know. The theory goes:

Primate ancestors of homo sapiens were highly dependent on fruit, and so, the new theory goes, they developed a strong attraction to the ethanol that naturally spikes lusciously ripe and overripe fruits. This predilection was then passed on to humans.

But they can't find any drunken monkeys. According to Katharine Milton, a primatologist

"in apes, there's nothing like human consciousness", so why should they drink? "Humans might be the only animals that wish to escape from their own consciousness," she said.

Ah, let's hear it for relinquishing control over ourselves. Slavery, anyone?